I am a very sensitive person.
Perhaps that seems obvious; perhaps not. Some people have referred to me as empathetic or empathic. I even had someone, who is a Star Trek fan, tell me I was some sort-of betazoid. (I didn’t know what that was, so maybe I’m not so sensitive to Trekkies.)
Anyway, for me, this means I feel you. When we are together or talking over the phone or communicating in some way, much of the time, I can feel your energy, or your vibe, or your mojo, or your emotions, or that “thing” that is dominating your personality, at the moment. Even if we don’t know one-another very well, if I read your writing or listen to your podcast or hear your music, I feel connected to you.
Often, I think this makes me a good friend or a good person to be around. I can relate to you, as you are, or I can respect your boundaries, most of the time. I’m sure this makes me an exceptional girlfriend. I believe it is a nice trait or a beautiful gift. I’m pretty sure my Grandmother was this way.
Sometimes, though, this gift can be burdensome. I haven’t, yet, figured out how to don my Wonder Woman bracelets to protect me from the intensity that can easily surround me. For instance…
- When I worked in the office, I could arrive in good spirits ready to conquer my day. But, as soon as I got to my workspace or headed into a meeting, I would pick-up on all of the people who were there with me. If some were stressed, that sensitive sponge inside of me would get stressed, and that would bring me down or completely drain me.
- If I go to a concert, and I’m standing in the crowd enjoying the music, and a person gets close to me, I feel them. If they are insecure, their insecurity envelopes me and I get stressed.
- If I walk into a bar, and the vibe is feels wrong and people are tweaked out on booze or pot or pills, without one chemical entering my body, it tweaks me out. And, you guessed it, stress city.
I love to be connected with people and to hear their stories. This health retreat was a conscious decision not only to address my health with healing foods, but also to relieve the stresses of life, in some way. I’m working to reset or reground myself, so I can better handle being present with others, including all of you.
When I return, I plan to continue on this path, but I don’t want it to stress you out. As expressed before, I am a woman in change. Please understand that if I don’t do a shot with you at the bar, or if I dissect the tomato in my salad, or if I excuse myself, early, from a social situation, that I’m sensitive. It’s not you, it’s me.
“Someday, many years from here / Where no one else can see
You’ll dig up the things they buried / And finally set them free
Finally, set them free
And its a good Life / From now on / When I look back at you
A good life, / Look ahead / The sky is almost blue”
- Rickie Lee Jones