Did you know that mangos are free in Puerto Rico? They just grow on trees, everywhere, and people stop their cars to collect their fill, then go about their lives. It is just what they do. Back in Connecticut, that would be like if apples were free. They probably were free and were everywhere, 100 years ago. What happened to us? We should get that back; page Johnny Appleseed for me.
Anyway, I got to eat my fruit on the beach today. It was a free, incredibly ripe and juicy mango. I christened it the Best-Damn, Most-Delicious Mango that I’ve ever had.
And, it is a good thing I enjoyed-the-hell out of that BDMD Mango today because things are heating up at the Ann Wigmore Natural Health Institute. By heating-up, I mean the health thing is cranking into high gear. At dinner tonight, I was told to “have fruit with my greens, not greens with my fruit,” which is a nice way of saying, “If you really want to detox and heal, Chica, lay off of the sweet stuff and focus on the green.”
It ain’t easy being green. Let me explain…
For those of you too busy to click on the links I include in these posts, the Ann Wigmore Natural Health Institute is a wonderful, vibrant place of learning which also happens to be raw, vegan, and organic. Bluntly, there is no cooked food and everything I am eating was grown in chemical-free, composted soil, or sprouted in pure water. Isn’t that cool?
One of my former co-workers said, “Going to Puerto Rico for a little Corona therapy, eh?” This is quite the opposite.
A major part of this program involves eating a blended green soup at every meal. For those of you who have dined with me, you know I eat and drink, and usually like, almost everything. (These days, that means everything that works within my crazy eating restrictions, of course.) In order to get healthy, a few years ago, I drank some mysterious Chinese tincture; the only words which appeared on the package in English were “Snake Semen.” It didn’t taste so bad. (Insert sex joke here.) It seemed to help with my cough. (And, sex joke tag, here.)
I’ve eaten all kinds of kale-esque dandoline-style bitter greens, sauerkraut, horseradish, hot sauces, figs growing on the side of the road in Italy (again with the free fruit), a variety of seaweeds and yard weeds, and I drink Kombucha. But, when I tell you my palate wasn’t ready for the intense, nutrient-dense health meal which is the staple of this place…well, it just wasn’t.
Three words: bland lawn clippings.
I’m not kidding. The green concoction, despite its I-gotta-choke-it-down flavor, is good for me and I’m forcing myself to make the best of it. I gotta just go harder, because that woman who scolded me about the fruit was right and I believe the green is already making me feel better. I’ve been told I’ll be craving it by week’s end. I believe that is true. (And, no matter what you’ve heard, I don’t crave snake semen.)
I may crave heavenly mangos, though, in deference to my health, right now, I won’t be eating them. If anyone else wants one, fortunately, they are free.